The other morning, as I was gettin ready for work, I grabbed my favorit pair of summer heels, and found the heel of one of them chewed down to almost nothing.  That’s right.  My puppy chewed the heel off my favorite pair of shoes. 

In my search for a replacement pair (I looked into shoe repair and it cost only $10 less then the new pair I ended up buying), I noticed that platform heels are everywhere this summer.  Everytime I came accross a pair I found myself wishing they offered the same pair of shoes minus the over-the-top platform.  My last pair were good for both work and a night on the town. While there are numerous platform heel options that imitate classic and conservative styles, it is hard to ignore the association with the clear plastic version sold exclusively at Lovers Lane.

Then, while I was clicking through Michael Kors shoes on a discount shoe website I frequent, I saw them.  Beautiful shoes that were everything I was looking for, and they had the platform bottom. It didn’t stand out to me as much as some of the other ones I saw, so I decided they were toned down enough to be work appropriate.

When they came in the mail, I ripped the box open, inhaled the the wonderful leather smell and put one on.  And.  They.  Felt.  High!  The platform was no joke. 

After that they had a special place in my closet for the next week as I gathered up the courage to wear them to work. I got them during a Memorial Day sale, but they still cost a pretty penny, and I still loved them for casual use and didn’t want to send them back, so I was wearing them to work (or feeling the rath of husband!).

For the big work debut, I paired them with a long pencil skirt and sweater cami combo.  I figured if the rest of my outfit was extremely conservative, I would avoid the stripper association.

I really didn’t want to look sexy, despite the arguably sexy shoes.  There are times when looking sexy is empowering.  and there are different types of sexy for different occasions. 

My husband recently showed me a youtube video of a group of very talennted 8 year olds dancing to Beyonce’s “All The Single Ladies”.  It was a very disturbing video.  The little girls were dressed in tight, midrif baring leotards, and bumping and grinding to the hoots and hollars of their parents.  I couldn’t decide whether it was the clothes or the gyrating that was worse, but it was definitely inappropriate.  Sexy taken too far, too young.

Dressing sexy is often seen as both powerful AND weak.  Those who see it as powerful, refer to the power of sex, and the need for women to look like women (not men) in order to succeed on their own terms.  Adversely, those who see it as weak, often refer to the objectification that victimizes women who attempt to use their sexuality for personal gain.  This objectification, they argue, cancels out any female empowerment that being sexy could hold.  However, sex is a feminine power, and suppressing it would be to agree with the reasoning that dress codes exist in high school (so the girls don’t distract the poor hormone-laden boys).

Both sides of this debate hit home.  Arguably, women are often faced with the decision to change their behavior according to male weakness, or exploit it.  However, what it really comes down to is balance.

So as I set out for work the day of my shoe debut (shoes in bag due to my 4 block walk from the train to the office), my husband told me my outfit looked like an old lady outfit.  I told him the look was not complete without the shoes.  Shoes with stripper shoe features must be worn with discretion.  And as I changed into them, I was proceeding with caution (literally because I had never walked in shoes that high!). 

 Turns out I was able to walk in them and I felt my overall look to be professional. 

The next time I wore them was out to dinner with my husband and another couple.  I wore them with shorts so my legs would look super long (I’m 5’4).  I felt super sexy and confident (I only tripped once!), and enjoyed the view at about 5’8!

Sex is power.  And just like any other form of power, it must be used  responsibly so you don’t become a victim to it.

Sarah Jessica Parker on the set for the second Sex in the City movie

Anyone who likes this blog would probably find this interesting.  Sarah Jessica Parker will be doing the voice-over for the audio guide to accompany the exhibition.

My husband sent me a link from an online magazine about plastic surgery and high heel shoes.  To sum it up, the newest thing you can now Botox is your feet.  It lasts a few months and can make wearing 5 inch heels tolerable.  This article reminded me of an article I bookmarked a month ago on  The Skinny Jeana Workout.  It is basically a series of recommended movements to get the kind of body that can squeeze into uncomfortably tight jeans.

These two articles capture the results of society’s beauty obsession – plastic surgery becoming commonplace, and a  myriad of workout trends.  The popularity of plastic surgery and workout programs show that women will pay exorbitant amounts of money to alter themselves into fitting into the latest fashions, instead of choosing fashions that fit them.

A running theme through this blog has been personal style over fashion. That means choosing the fashions that flatter you rather than looking like  a fashion victim just to wear the latest trends.

There are certain things you just can’t change.  A pair of trendy over-the-knee boots will never flatter the body of a 5ft tall woman – no matter the workout or plastic surgery (last I checked there is no way to make yourself taller.  Oh.  Except for the 5 inch heels you need Botox to wear).  Personally, I can do Pilates all day, but my legs will never be pencil thin.  It is just not my frame.  You can’t target certain areas of your body when working out, which means I can lose weight, but my proportions will stay the same.  To put it simply, skinny jeans are not made for every body type, and 5 inch heels will never be comfortable - even if you numb your feet.

And if you are squeezing yourself into either of these, you will look uncomfortable instead of sexy.

Comfort and confidence in your fashion choices means shaping your cloths to you, not the other way around.

As the weekend gets closer, I am reving up for a Costume Party my husband and I will be attending on Saturday.  It all started when I saw a Cleopatra costume I really liked in a magazine.  My husband said I could pull the outfit off and he would go as a mummy.  He immediatly began googling how to do this himself.   

I, on the other hand, let him know that the costume he liked for me was $85.   We decided I should shop around a little, for several reasons.  One was the obvious waste of $85 for a one night wear, and two, I knew if I wore it, it would be obvious I just paid a lot of money for an uncreative costume for the sole purpose of showing off my legs (it wasn’t slutty per se, but it did have a short skirt instead of the long skirt of a traditional Cleopatra).

After our discussion, something struck me.  There are generally three options when choosing a Halloween costume:  1) Expensive costume from magazine or from a store, 2) The version in a bag that is more economical but usually as a whole, more skimpy and cliche, and 3) A homemade costume.  

If you go to a bar in the city around Halloween, you will see all three represented.  What is interesting to me is that, while the expensive costume is usually more eye catching, and the costume in a bag more skimpy, it is usually the homemade costume that wins the costume contest.

I see a social system at work that separates people who make their own costumes, from those buying the version that comes in a bag, from those who buy a more elaborate expensive version from a magazine or store, that relates authenticity and labor.  

Most of us labor in our cubicles, 5 days a week producing our piece within the corporate pie.  We have no direct investment in the product of our labor, but are rewarded for the labor itself. 

It is worth noting that the money we make selling our labor , if you will, allows for other creative outlets such as decorating your house yourself, or planting your own garden.  I believe that people who fix up their own houses instead of paying an interior designer and then a contractor to just provide the latest and greatest, may not have as much money, but are happier and more fulfilled when the specific project is done.  Just as the zucchini from the backyard tastes better than the one from the grocery store. 

All these examples relate to the yearning people have to labor to create something more than money, more than stuff.  

To further illustrate this, I would like to explore my own experience creatively laboring over my Halloween costume.

I didn’t make the decision to make my own costume right away.  I started at a costume store to see what they had.  Afterall, if money was the issue, I figured one from a bag could end up around the same as putting it together myself.

After the costume stores, I scoured discount stores.  I found a long dress for $5, numerous gold accessories for less than $5 a piece, a tie I decided to use for a belt from a thrift store for $2 ( I was kind of proud of myself for that one), a black wig for $7 (I personally have no problem with being a blonde Cleo, but my husband was not having it), and I already own a pair of shoes that are acceptably egyptian looking. 

Now, I saw Cleopatra costumes at the Halloween stores that looked similar to the one I was putting together.  And in the end I was right, there wasn’t much of a price difference.  Even with the cheap dress and accessories, details in a costume are key (I was told), and add up.  When shopping was complete, my costume ran me about $50 and the Cleopatra in a bag was $44.  Now, the gold bracelets and neck piece in the bag are fabric and mine are at least metal, and that doesn’t include a wig, but still, I didn’t exactly end up saving much money for the trouble.

So money was not my primary motivation for avoiding the bagged or magazine costumes.  There will be plenty of “slutty” princesses, vampires, witches, devils, and even mummies (I seriously saw a female mummy costume in a bag that was pretty skimpy) out there.  Those costumes are  cliche, and the wearer branded both uncreative and taking advantage of the rare opportunity to dress like a hooker in the middle of fall. 

The reason for this branding is that anyone can go to a store and buy a costume.  Heck, you might see 3 other people at a party with your same exact costume – especially since Cleopatra and Mummy aren’t exactly thinking outside the box.

Which brings me back to the connection between the product of my labor, my costume, and my labor itself.   

My husband and I started working on his costume last night by soaking the white material in coffee so that the material looks aged.  Tonight, I have to wash and dry my wig so it doesn’t have that crazy smashed in the bag look (like I said, $7).  Saturday, we will spend the day helping each other put the details together. 

It may sound like a pain, but there is a weird satisfaction in putting together my own costume instead of picking the “slutty” Cleopatra costume in a bag, or the fancy version from the magazine.  I had a lot of fun bargain shopping and being creative with the accesories I got to choose myself, and even enjoyed ripping and soaking fabric with my husband.   In addition, we are both looking forward to the arguably more authentic look we will feel we have as a result of the labor involved. 

In the end, it wasn’t about the money or even end product.  It was the experiences my husband and I are having putting our costumes together.  The experience is more valuable than the thing.

Well, it’s that time of year again.  The weather is starting to turn.  Days are shorter.  Back-to-School preparations have begun….Summer is coming to an end. 

One thing I love about the midwest (even though I complain) is the change of seasons. With a new season comes a new wardrobe.  Whether it’s going into storage or into the mall, you can start putting away the clothes you have been wearing for the last couple of months, and refresh.

I don’t know about you, but beautiful clothes always cheer me up (even if I can only get to look at them).   And there is no shortage of them in fashion magazines right now. 

The trend that stuck out to me while sitting inside pouring over magazine after magazine (it’s been raining for three days in Chicago) is over-the-knee boots.  They were around a little last season, but now I am seeing variations that look like they could be part of a work outfit.  Personally, I disregarded this fashion last season since I think they look like hooker boots.  That is not to say the person wearing them looks like a hooker, but when I see them, it is a strong association. 

That said, I saw some pictures in Elle magazine where they look very sophisticated.  Now, the woman wearing them was probably at least 5’7, so I’m still a bit leery about whether my 5’4 self can pull them off, but I actually took a moment to consider it.

My consideration does not mean that the hooker association is gone.  Personally – as someone who has watched Pretty Woman an embarrassing number of times – I still have the mental picture of Julia Roberts zipping up  – with a safety pin no less – her black patent leather knee high boots while getting ready for work.

Pretty Woman is a 90s classic, and most women working, and old enough to afford a pair of boots like that, would have seen the movie; which makes me wonder how a pair of boots goes from hooker, to sophisticated.  Now, the ones I was looking at were not patent leather or held up with a safety pin zipper, but the shape and movement was the same.

Which brings me to movement.  You have to walk a certain way depending on your shoes.  The same woman has a different walk when she wears flats, compared to pumps, compared to boots, and, I would now add, compared to over-the-knee boots.

In Pretty Woman, when Richard Gear pulls up in his Lamborghini, Julia Roberts’ hooker mentor says this classic line as Julia is walking up to his car, “Work it baby, work it, own it.”  She is coaching Julia to walk with confidence. 

Can you walk with confidence without knee high boots?  Of course.  But I do think  the hooker association involves confidence.  Afterall, confidence is sexy and powerful.  By separating the knee high boots from a leather mini skirt, and pairing it with a long collared shirt and suit jacket, you get rid of the hooker, of the sexy, but maintain the confidence and the power, reinserting a different form of sexy.

I think feminists would be up in arms at the idea that looking sexy is powerful.  Many believe dressing sexy causes female objectification.  This is true, but only when confidence is removed.  Power is sexy, and sex is power, as long as you know how to work it.

Megan Fox in a casual summer dress

Well, summer arrived here in Chicago…with a vengeance.  My fiancee is holding me responsible for the past week’s 95 degree heat wave due to all my complaining and whining when it was cold.  Amazing that my complaining and whining brought summer, but somehow failed to get the curtains we bought a week ago hung…But I digress.

With the heat wave comes a whole slew of fun summer dresses, floral prints, and an array of flip flops.  And I get to stare at it all behind my sunglasses (that are less conspicuous than usual because the sun is actually out and blazing!) walking the streets of Chicago on my lunch hour. 

Looking at everyone’s new summer gear got me thinking about the economy – I know, we are sick of reading about the economy, so I’ll move on quickly to my point.  There are a lot of fashion articles and posts out there talking about how people are either cutting back on their designer digs, or hiding the fact that they are wearing designer clothes.   Cutting back I can understand.  However, I am curious about those who hide their high end purchases.

My mother and sister threw my financee and I a couple’s shower last weekend.  Apparently it’s the newest thing – forcing your male friends to partake in wedding activities.  Unlike most showers, there were no games, just lots of food and beer.  And almost every woman showed up in a cotton dress and flip flops (I was sporting one myself sans flip flops). 

The thing about cotton dresses is that they are comfortable and you cannot tell what people spend on them (assuming the name brand isn’t on it somewhere), which makes me wonder whether this isn’t true of most clothing. 

The major difference I notice between designer clothing and more affordable options, is style.  Designer clothing influences mainstream trends. 

In one of the studies I read on popular culture, the main difference noted between high culture and mainstream culture is that mainstream culture is usually a watered down, mass produced version of what high culture exemplified six months or so prior. 

In reviewing my general thesis that what we wear can be a form of artistic expression, it seems unfortunate that the most well known artists/fashion designers only get worn by the fortunate few.  And then again, that also seems to be part of the definition of art, since anything mass produced looses its artistic integrity.

Of course, then comes the next question - who determined that Versace is anymore of an artist than a co-worker of my mother’s who makes jewelry and sells it online?

My answer – Influence.  My mother’s co-worker isn’t exactly influencing or challenging how people see and wear jewelry.  She’s most likely as reactionary as the stuff that is mass produced.

On the other hand, the non-corporate stuff often sold online, is not as mass produced as the designer stuff.

You might not influence the next runway show, or the next line of Banana Republic clothing – but with a little internet or thrift store savvy, you can wear unique and artistic pieces that stand out more than having Juicy Couture across your back end.  You may even influence a whole crop of fashion watchers hiding behind sunglasses on city streets.

I was doing my normal internet readying with coffee this morning, and what interested me today was an article on all the trendy plus size clothing lines coming out.  The article analyzes the plus size fashion market and compares the success and demise of various brands in the sector. 

I recently started a new workout routine and eating plan.  My weight has been fairly consistent without really dieting or trying to loose weight.  I just love physical activity, and I feel better when I eat better.  Plus, being healthy is important in being self sufficient.  Being able to move a couch without any more reinforcements than my fiancee, for example, is invaluable. 

And I’m not gonna lie – I want to look physically fit!

My new workout routine and eating plan are geared toward just that.  I have not lost any weight at all, nor do I want to (my wedding dress alterations lady would kill me!).  Lately, however, I do feel the urge to put on shorts, a fashion I usually avoid, and, *gasp, even a bathing suit, an experience I usually dread. 

I may look the same, but I feel stronger and healthier, and therefore more confident.

After reading the article I was annoyed that it seemed like a revelation that plus sized women want to dress fashionably.  In general, I believe some plus sized Hollywood stars are more attractive than their starved counter parts.  Take Jennifer Hudson as an example.  She has beautiful curves and dresses well for her body.  Compare her with somone like Megan Fox, who is gorgeous, but also has a little of the big head syndrome (where the head looks huge because the body is so tiny), and Hudson looks healthier and happier.  Even Jessica Simpson looks more confident with a little extra weight on her (even in those awful pictures of her in mom jeans and cheetah belt).

Curves are attractive, and sunken cheek bones and carrying most of your body weight above the shoulders is not.

So if there are clothes for the 5’10 girl who weighs 110 pounds, why not the 5’4 girl who weighs 160? 

Getting back to the idea of health – neither extremees are healthy.  But somehow we’ve put skinny on a fashion pedestal, and relegated obesity to sweat pants.

The key is being happy and feeling good about yourself.  Many health issues are related to mental well being as much as physical.  So while society should avoid anything that enables unhealthy lifestyles, feeling good about yourself is paramount. 

Having the confidence to know what looks good on whatever body type you have, and rocking it , is admirable no matter what your size.

When the media started printing stories about Obama taking off his suit coat  in the Oval Office, loosening the dresscode of the Bush era, it got me thinking  about my personal experiences with dress codes, and various reactions I’ve received when deviating from them (whether intentional or otherwise).

The word dress code alone makes me shudder and remember my grade school days of being stopped in the hall by teachers, and being asked to put my arms flat by my sides to makes sure my shorts were fingertip length; my high school days of receiving a Coca-Cola T-shirt because, while carrying my school books, it appeared my shirt showed part of my stomach…

After high school, dress codes disappear for a few years during college (assuming you, like the average college student, do not have money to go to the kind of clubs with a dress code), only to return in your professional life – business casual or business formal.

Business formal is generally a three piece suit, close toed shoes, and stockings of some kind at all times.  The term business casual is more elusive , especially to women.  I mean, for men and women alike, it means you don’t have to wear a suit.  So men wear dress shirts, polos, etc.  However, drawing this line for women is a little more difficult. 

My first job out of college was at a law firm where the dress code was business casual.  One day I wore khaki pants and a collared shirt.  Both were loose fitting.  I was told I needed to dress up more.  I asked what particular article of clothing went against the dress code, and received a shoulder shrug from my boss. 

It wasn’t so much that I wasn’t following the dress code, it was my overall appearance.  Now, this might be jumping to conclusions, but I figured if either the pants or the shirt had been more fitted, I would have been perceived as looking more professional (I am not  arguing that the lawyer wanted to see me in something tight, I do not believe that was the case).  Somehow, I inadvertently slipped more into the casual side of business casual in way that could not be clearly communicated through the dress code.

And it is not just women that struggle with this.

The phrase dress code came up in an unexpected place recently – my search for a honeymoon location with my fiancee.  And in this dress code, men had more rules.  Resorts seem very concerned that men either won’t wear shirts, or will wear sleeveless shirts and gym shoes to the resort’s restaurants.  The only concern women bear is that we will show up to dinner in our bathing suits and nothing more.

At first I was slightly put off.  I have always had negative experiences with dress codes, and I wanted my honeymoon to be casual and relaxing, not full of rules and hoity toity people looking down their noses at me.

My fiancee calmed me down though.  Of course I wasn’t going to show up to dinner in my bathing suit.  We both prefer to wear clothes to dinner.  And he doesn’t even own sleeveless shirts beyond the ones he works out in. 

As much as I hate to admit it, rules do exist for a reason (and I probably deserved the Coca-Cola shirt in high school…maybe).  Even within the business casual boundaries at my first job, I saw plenty of women wearing outfits more suited for the club than the office, despite not breaking any rules.  At my current job, for jeans day, our human resource manager actually had to remind people that the jeans should not have any holes.  So  imagine if we just trusted people’s judgement and did away with dress codes altogether.

Dress codes exist because different people have different ideas about what is appropriate, and not everyone is aware of what their clothing communicates, or the way it creates an ambiance in a given environment.

The Bush administration held the oval office in high regard and communicated that message by requiring a coat and tie at all times – a business formal dress code you might say.

Obama wants to be an everyman, one of us, and most of us work in business casual environments.  So off went the suit coat and tie to create a more laid back image and atmosphere.

People had varying reactions to this deviation.  Some argued that his jacket removal showed a level of disrespect for the position and for long held traditions.  Others argued that it was a move by Obama to bring him closer to the general public, and to separate himself more completely from Bush, both being seen as positive and cool.

I have never been a fan of being told I cannot judge for myself what is or is not appropriate to wear, or that my clothes cause a distraction to those around me (those poor high school boys).  However, I am aware that my clothing choices send a message to the outside world.  I would always choose to be perceived as a professional and recognized as such by the way I carry myself. 

Maybe I’m just not as cool as Obama.

When I set out my work outfit last night, it was following an evening with my fiancee grilling our dinner and eating  on the porch.  It was really nice outside in the northwest suburb of Chicago I recently  moved to from the city.  Well, that was last night.

This morning it was windy, rainy, and miserable.   Due to my new favorite cosmetic item – sunless tanner – I had set out a skirt, no tights, and one of those cute ruffle sleeved tops  I am starting to see everywhere.  Normally, I would need at least a few Saturdays baking in the sun before I even consider exposing bare legs, and I’ve always been afraid of sunless tanner.  Well, we haven’t had enough nice weather to get a tan..  So despite my visions  of streaks and Lindsay Lohan-like orangyness that can’t be hidden because, well, it’s your skin – I took a chance.  I may sound dramatic here, but it’s not like purchasing a lipstick, which you can wipe off, that is too orange.  

I have done spray tanning, but I hate the way that feels on the skin and wasn’t crazy about the color, or the price.  Both are better for the skin than baking in the sun, however, my general defense for this practice is I’m from the Midwest.  We only get 3 months of it.  People in year round sunny places need to be concerned about sunblock. 

Then I noticed two co-workers who were tan year round.  In the past, I have always felt that people who are tan in the dead of winter look a little weird.  You are supposed to be pale in the winter, it’s natural. 

Regardless, I was noticing people around the city forgoing tights for bare legs, and my legs were pretty scary.  So I found out what the two women were doing to keep tan.  One woman uses a tanning bed, and the other uses sunless tanner.  Now I may bake in the sun, but I can’t bring myself to lay in a tanning bed, so I found out the brand of sunless tanner the other woman was using and made a trip to the mall.

I LUV it!  I forgot how much nicer it is to 1) not have tan lines, and 2) have some color to my skin.  I just felt so much healthier looking.  Also, I am acne prone, and a little color does wonders for the complexion, even during breakouts.  I am now recommending it to everyone. 

So, I have been converted.  There is no reason to look pale and pasty.  Now, I’m not gonna look like I spend the weekend in Mexico year round, but a shade or two darker than my natural should be just fine.

I ended up wearing  a skirt with the tights regardless of those going bare.  My legs might be tan, but this morning, they were also freezing!

Just because I have a summer tan, does not mean I can dress for summer…yet.

Michelle Obama's Vogue Cover

I’ve been a little down this week, so in an attempt to cheer myself up, I decided to stop at the bookstore to indulge in my two favorite things – coffee and fashion magazines (not to mention the lovely smell of all those books).  In perusing, I noticed Michelle Obama is on the cover of the March issue of Vogue.  All political associations and viewpoints aside (I also wrote about Sarah Palin’s fashion choices during the election, and Jackie O’s status as a fashion icon), I love all the media attention Michelle’s fashion choices are receiving.

As American fashion struggles on in a time when flaunting economic status is a faux pas, it is refreshing to see America’s first lady taking the role seriously and dressing the part.

As of late, I have read articles praising Michelle for celebrating American designers, and others criticizing the media for treating Michelle like  Barbie doll.  Those who praise Michelle’s cloths note the good she does for the industry, and the advantages of her every-woman body (compared to say Kate Winslet’s newly celebrated figure).  Those who criticize, don’t criticize her, they criticize the media’s objectification of the first lady, and lack of attention on her intellectual status.  The first questions critics ask are along the lines of “‘Do reporters shout ‘who are you wearing?’ to former president George W. Bush?”.

My answer – Of course not!

Maybe this goes against equity for men and women, but men’s formal fashion is BORING.  One suit does not stand out from the rest (unless you pair it with a loud pair of gym shoes like Kanye West).  The freedom women have with clothing is just that – a freedom!  As a woman with many style choices, it is complimentary when people notice what I wear.  In addition, it is not an insult to my intelligence.   We don’t wear our intelligence.  We do wear our confidence.  And Michelle Obama does this beautifully and positively.

The Obama's at the Inauguraton

We shouldn’t take that power away from women.  Style sense and a vast array of formal clothing choices is special to women, and rather than craving to be treated like men, fashion is a way to celebrate being feminine.

Another problem I have with the Bush comparison is that Michelle Obama is not the president.  She is the president’s wife.  Sarah Palin, in running for Vice President, had more limited choices and still celebrated being female (and had to take far more criticism on all levels I might add).  Jackie O is a more comparable because she is also a first lady, and due to her status as a fashion icon, still has vast  influence today.

Being a fashion icon is not shallow.   People communicate through a variety of mediums.  Embracing clothing as one of those mediums that is inherently and beautifully feminine,  instead of a form of shallow objectification that women have to overcome, takes more than a big wallet and a designer dress.

The media may be focusing on the cloths in focusing on the woman, but Michelle Obama has made the best investment yet.  The one in herself by setting an example of feminine power.